


(when i say this) it should mean laughter, not poison.

by flustraaa



Series: it isn’t over yet, it’s just begun. [3]
Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, POV Outsider, Sokka (Avatar) Needs a Hug, Sokka (Avatar) is a Good Friend, Zuko (Avatar) Needs a Hug, Zuko (Avatar) is Bad at Feelings, Zuko is an Awkward Turtleduck, Zuko's Scar (Avatar), no beta we die like jet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-24
Updated: 2021-01-24
Packaged: 2021-03-16 05:22:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,689
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28951116
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flustraaa/pseuds/flustraaa
Summary: “he calls zuko sunshine.” it’s a statement, but it comes out as a question. mai’s lips quirk slightly in response. “i don’t get it. zuko’s terrifying.”“it’s not really something that everyone is supposed to get, i guess.”(or,the one where sokka spills his guts through actions,,, but platonically).
Relationships: Bato & Sokka (Avatar), Bato & Zuko (Avatar), Mai & Zuko (Avatar), Mai (Avatar) & Original Character(s), Sokka & Zuko (Avatar)
Series: it isn’t over yet, it’s just begun. [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2119551
Comments: 14
Kudos: 169





	(when i say this) it should mean laughter, not poison.

**Author's Note:**

> in essence, i am a dumbass and sent my friend a video of me in orchestra with the caption: “the stars did align tho. i now understand why my friends dad calls me giggles and why jack says my car matches my personality.” they told me, “that was poetic as shit” and i said “well i guess i better write a fic based on it, huh?” so here we are, my gender neutral collective of darlings.

No one understands why Sokka insists on calling one of the most quiet kids in the school Sunshine, or why the scarred boy lets him do it without batting an eye. No one understands why Sokka pokes and prods at Zuko during rehearsal or why the latter never seems to mind too much. 

Not until the first week of their senior year when Sokka and Zuko choose to sit together in the last chair seats, despite knowing that both are incredibly talented cellists. They play through Phantom of the Opera in their conductors desperate attempt to get a song arranged for the fall showcase. 

“What’s up, Sushine?” Sokka greets, ruffling Zuko’s hair as he drops his navy blue backpack at his feet, tossing his folder haphazardly on the shitty black stand. 

The freshman beside watch in horror as Zuko, easily the most terrifying seventeen year old anyone has ever met, drags a lithe hand through his raven hair. His eyes narrow in a glare, as Sokka beams as him. 

But eventually, he lets out a quiet huff, pushing himself off the chair to snag the school cello off of the rack, tightening the bow as he talks to Sokka. 

But then, Sokka says something that makes Zuko laugh— and suddenly the freshman decide that they have become absolutely desperate to figure out how to make the sullen boy laugh. 

Naturally, a freshman violist named Julien, carefully leans over his older cousins shoulder and whispers, “I’ll buy you lunch every day for a week if you help me figure out the deal between gloomy and sunshine over there.” 

“Oh?” Mai says with a grin, turning to look at the idiot behind her. “I’ll take that deal any day of the week. Hey, Zuko.” 

Zuko lifts his head from the rosin on his bow hair, shooting Mai a quick look of curiosity, “huh?” 

“Can I borrow the rosin when you’re done with it?” It’s then that Julien realises his mistake— Mai must already know how the odd friendship came to be, so he sends her a look the desperately reads: can I take the deal off the table?

Mai grins, and Julien suddenly realises he’s fifty dollars short for the week, “will you at least tell me what’s going on?” 

“People who have painful pasts,” she smooths the borrowed rosin over her bow, as if it’s personally offended her, “often flock together.” 

“Mai. My dearest cousin.” He smiles, batting his eyes as he twists a pencil between his fingers. “What the fuck does that mean?” 

“Alright.” Doctor Akpik taps his baton against the edge of his podium three times, and Julien lets out a low growl, cradling his viola between his chin and collar bone. “We will start at the pickup to measure thirty-two.” 

He counts them off, and Julien ignores the quiet snort that Sokka lets out from the section beside them— though he does manage to catch a glimpse of the blush that coats Zuko’s cheeks. 

Huh, he thinks, eyes catching on the travesty that is the sad melody that is every viola part he’s ever played. Maybe, Zuko does have a funny bone.

* * *

Now, Julien is lying if he says he doesn’t catch the confused, and dreadfully crestfallen look Zuko sends one incredibly puffy-faced Sokka. 

He’s lying if he says he doesn’t notice the way Zuko’s eyebrows come together, lips pulling into a terribly tragic and oddly precious pout that makes Sokka force a smile onto his lips. 

“I’m fine.” Zuko’s eyes don’t waiver, hand twitching at his side as if to reach out. Sokka sighs, head dropping forward. “I just— I dunno, everyone gets weird around me and Katara around this time— and Bato won’t stop looking at me weird. I just hate it when they look at me like I’m broken.” 

“Okay first of all,” Zuko states, glancing aroundto make sure no ones listening. He doesn’t catch Julien’s eyes, but if he had, Julien would’ve had to to pass away from embarrassment. “I’ll beat the shit out of anyone who looks at you weird—“ 

Sokka’s chokes on a laugh, and the corners of Zuko’s lips pull up into a small, private simper.

“Zuko, you cried when we watched Marley and Me—“ Zuko’s smile drops, and his eyes narrow. “You were not seven. We literally rewatched it last week.” 

“You’re such a little shit— but anyways,” Zuko pushes, punching Sokka’s shoulder with no real heat behind it. “After school, we’re gonna go to the market and get some orchids. Then, we’re gonna take the picnic basket that is sitting in the boot of my car, and we’re just going to go sit with her. We’re gonna sit with her, and we’re gonna talk to her, and you’re going to let yourself feel whatever you need to feel.”

Sokka’s eyes soften, and suddenly Julien feels like he shouldn’t be listening to this conversation. 

As an afterthought, he hears Zuko murmur. “I’ll even sit in the car if you want. I can sit in the car, and you can talk to her until you’re ready to talk about it. Or we can just never talk about it. Whatever happens, I’m here.” 

Sokka doesn’t say anything for a long moment, and it’s Doctor Akpik who catches Julien’s attention, “Mr. Immaroitok? Do you need a minute?”

When Sokka meets their conductors eyes, it becomes so painfully clear that he wasn’t ignoring Zuko— instead, he realises that a sob must’ve been threatening to claw its way out of his throat. 

“No.” He croaks, “I’m fine. Can we just—“ 

“Sokka.” Doctor Akpik sets his glasses on the music stand. Sending a glance around, hemakes sure that not all of the students are listening prior to coming up behind Sokka and Zuko. “I won’t tell Hakoda, and I’ll even let you take Zuko with you. I know that face though, I’ve known you since before your mother—“ 

Julien would have to be more blind than the girl who absolutely shreds in the percussion section every day to ignore the way Sokka flinches at the mention of his mother. 

“Kiddo, it’s okay.” Sokka bites his bottom lip, dragging the sleeve of his sweatshirt across his eyes. “It’s okay, this is your last period of the day— just go take a few deep breaths, and take Zuko with you.” 

“Sokka.” Zuko mumbles, eyes painfully warm— Julien suddenly wonders if this is why Sokka calls him sunshine. “I’m so proud of you, and you don’t have anything to prove. You’re the strongest person I know, no matter what you think.” 

Those are the words that finally break the dam, and he’s on his feet in seconds, Zuko trailing close behind. 

Just as the door closes, he hears Sokka blurt, “Katara’s going to call me out for having toxic masculinity— fuck, dude. I’m never gonna hear the end of this from her— or Gertrude. Oh, fuck dude, Gertrude’s gonna murder me.” 

“She’s a therapist.” Zuko says slowly, patting his back. “I don’t think she can do that without losing her license.” 

Julien suddenly wonders, if maybe the school has misjudged them both.

* * *

For the first time in his life, Julien comes to the orchestra classroom during his study hall— curious about a bowing change that he didn’t quite catch on Friday. 

He finds Sokka sitting on a chair, legs sprawled out and resting on Zuko’s legs on the chair next to him. 

“That actually imbecilic.” Sokka groans, snatching Zuko’s phone from his hands. “I’m revoking your twitter rights, Tui and La, dude.” 

“Shut up,” Zuko mumbles, cheeks flaring red as he glances up at Sokka. 

“What did Giggles do this time?” 

Zuko’s eyes glint dangerously, “not you too. _Please_.” 

“What can I say? Hakoda was right, you never stop giggling.” Doctor Akpik wears the biggest shit-eating grin Julien has ever seen, and suddenly he feels as if he’s intruding again. “Oh, hey Julien. Can I do something for you?” 

Sokka looks up from Zuko’s phone, waving and smiling as if he’s known him for years. As expected, Zuko manages a little smile that looks like it pains him, before stealing his phone back from Sokka. 

“Zuko, don’t look so excited,” Doctor Akpik teases, and Julien realises that there must be a look of complete terror on his face. “He’s harmless. What can I help you with?” 

Julien catches the way the top of Zuko’s cheeks begin to burn a soft crimson, sinking into his hoodie as he rests a hand on Sokka’s shins. 

“Yeah— um, what was the bowing that we rewrote in measure seventy two? I was practicing last night and it didn’t really work out. I think I wrote something in wrong.” 

Doctor Akpik takes the score from his hands, brows furrowing as he looks through the piece, “Giggles, do you remember what we wrote in the measure?”

“Yeah. Mai was getting annoyed about it last night. You wrote it as up down up-up down up, but it should be up down-down up down up.” Zuko glances at Sokka for confirmation, and Sokka nods. “The slur was in a different place in the viola part so it throws off our alignment.” 

“Bato, you need to stop forgetting that Violas are the but of every orchestra joke.” Sokka clasps a hand dramatically over his heart like the disaster he is and says, “Violas are friends, not completely useless.” 

Julien scowls at him, and Zuko lets out a squeak of a laugh before trying to cover it with a cough. 

“Is that why you call him Giggles?” 

“Careful kid.” Sokka replies, a bit too seriously for it to not be satire, “Sunshine here is harmless, but Toph isn’t.” 

Zuko punches Sokka’s shoulder in a way that doesn’t look all that harmless, and suddenly, Julien starts to understand why his cousin is friends with him. Why so many people are friends with him.

* * *

Doctor Akpik works with the violins because they keep messing up the melody— Julien is unsurprised, the rest of the orchestras range from annoyed to relieved and not much in between.

Julien is however, enjoying watching Sokka’s head lull forward, arms crossed over his chest as Zuko watches his friend with and equally amused look.

That is until, Sokka left leg slips and his cello falls from where it had been cradled between his thighs.

“Sokka— _shit_!” The hiss of words is not nearly loud enough for Akpik to hear, but it is most certainly loud enough for both the cello section and a couple of violas to hear.

Zuko grips the neck of his cello with his left hand, his right shooting out to narrowly save Sokka’s from creating a fatal collision with the ground.

He lets out a breath, relaxing as he kicks Sokka foot with his own, nudging him awake.

Sokka’s eyes open, and soon he’s fully awake taking one glance at Zuko before sending his best friend an uncharacteristically abashed smile, “did i fall asleep?”

“You’re an idiot.” Zuko mumbles, waiting until Sokka has a firm grasp on the instrument before peeling his hand away. “You’re so lucky I c— I _care_ — I cant even say it, man.”

“Shut up. I know you write poetry about me in your notes app.” His grin is absolutely shit-eating, and Julien feels the secondhand embarrassment coil tight in his chest.

“Okay, shut up. That was one time and I was fifteen and very confused.” Sokka’s eye soften, his smile warm as he pats Zuko’s thigh. “Also that poem fucking slapped, don’t pretend you don’t think about it once a week.”

“Oh, I think about it at least three times a week, don’t worry, pretty boy.”

“I hate you so much.”

“ _Cerulean waves lapsing upon_ —“ Zuko slaps his hand over Sokka’s mouth, eyes narrowed into a glare that makes Julien begin to question why he’d ever seen Zuko as bubbly.

But the moment Zuko squeaks loud enough to draw the rooms attention, he remembers the two together are just halves of one idiot.

“Did you just lick my fucking hand?” His voice is loud, and Sokka regrets nothing— not even when Akpik throws an eraser at him from across the room.

Zuko, on the other hand, looks like he wants the Earth to swallow him whole.

* * *

It’s as the first half of the year begins to draw to a close that Julien notices the terrifying two have been gone for nearly a week. Akpik doesn’t say a word— no one does, and it’s the only thing that stops Julien from asking Mai what’s happened.

Because there’s something heavy in the air, and it begs a question that he’s not sure he wants to know the answer to. 

So he shoves it down, and when he sees Sokka sitting in his chair with a cast on his leg, hair slipping from his ponytails he starts to understand.

Zuko, is sitting beside him, Akpik crouched at their sides as he speaks in a hushed tone. Julien only catches a very passive aggressive warning along the lines of, “tell me if you need to leave the room. Either of you.”

It becomes clear that not even Mai really knows what’s going on, because she leans over to Zuko and rests a hand on his shoulder with such care— it makes Julien wonder if he’s missing something.

“What happened to you two?” Her voice is dripping with so much sadness— it’s so rare to hear her express anything. Something deep within him wrenches painfully.

“I have a concussion and a couple of cracked ribs— Sokka has a concussion and he broke his leg.” Zuko lowers his voice, pinching the bridge of his nose. “We’re both kind of fucked up right now. The car flipped— and by the same guy in... y’know, and the other car was on fire when I saw it.”

“Are the nightmares back?” Zuko looks away, nodding quietly as Mai allows out a quiet sigh to pass through her lips. “Are they as bad as when we—“ her voice cuts out.

“No— the flames didn’t get close enough to me.” He runs a hand over his face, throwing a glance at Sokka, who winces when one of the violins plays an incredibly out of tune harmonic. “When I woke up in the hospital, I thought that... like— y’know.”

There’s a vague gesture to the left half of his face, and suddenly Julien feels ill.

“Hey Bato?” Sokka speaks suddenly, not long before he squeezes his eyes shut, and tries again. “Doctor Akpik— can I—“

Doctor Akpik nods before Sokka can finish his sentence, and makes a gesture for Zuko to go with him. Together they make their way into the conductors office, glass exposing them to most of the orchestra, but with minimal noise. 

Zuko flips off the lights, helping Sokka to the ground— it only takes a moment before the brunette sprawls on the floor, resting his head on Zuko’s lap.

Julien watches for a moment longer, as Zuko combs his fingers through Sokka’s hair, head tilted back against the cinder block behind him.

“Sokka calls Zuko sunshine for two reasons,” Mai admits finally, sending a glance at her younger cousin. “One, the most sickening, is that Zuko over the years has opened up a lot. At first it was sarcastic, but now it’s just because he does a lot to see Sokka smile when it gets rough.”

Mai rolls her eyes, sinking into her chair as Akpik sends a glance back at his office to check on the two resting boys.

“The second is— Sokka used to get reoccurring nightmares around the time his mom died, and it lined up with when Zuko got his burn— so whenever it happened, they’d have meet up after a nightmare and watch the sunrise. It was Zuko’s idea. He wakes up at dawn anyways, so he just invites Sokka along now.”

Julien isn’t quite sure what he’d been expecting, but it definitely hadn’t been that. As he processes the information, he throws a glance at the two seniors, and finds himself thinking that some of the best friendships are the ones that are the least likely. 

**Author's Note:**

> pls hydrate and be kind to yourself. also don’t be shy!! tell me what u thought :)) i love to hear from you all :)).


End file.
